What Story Are You Telling Yourself?

[This is a guest post by Kimanzi Constable. He is a former bread delivery driver turned best-selling author, international speaker and life coach. His passion is to help family men and woman live life by their own design and create a freedom based online business on the side. You can also connect with him on Twitter.]

From late 2000 to 2012 I owned a service business. At the height of this business, I had five people working for me and operated in three states. During this time period I was also in leadership at church, and a husband and father.

I had a lot of chances to lead and be the kind of leader I was taught about growing up. Some days I was, most day I wasn’t. Too many times I just faked it and as a result, no one really believed or followed my leading.

With so much training, especially from the good Word, how could I be such a lousy leader?

I was a terrible leader because of the story I was telling myself. I wanted to lead, I wanted to take action but I believed those negative stories. As a result, all those areas of my life suffered.

What story are you telling yourself?

Information isn’t enough

With all the information we have available to us: all the books, courses, trainers and the wealth of information we have online, why do we have a problem with obesity in America?

It’s not because of a lack of information, it’s the stories we tell ourselves: I’m just this way, I can’t because of these ten reasons, life has done this to me. You can insert the specifics but the point is we let these stories keep us from taking action and making changes.

I couldn’t lead because I believed the stories I told myself about my leadership: I didn’t have enough credentials, I wasn’t qualified, I was too young. I let these stories keep me from standing up and leading, as a result, many areas of my life and my business ultimately suffered.

You can have all the knowledge in the world about leadership or anything you’re passionate about but until you tell yourself a better story, you’ll never take action and see success and be the kind of leader people follow.

Tell yourself a better story

Here’s the good thing, you have the power to change your story. You can decide to stop listening to all those doubts and fears and just lead. When are you a leader? When you lead.

One huge key to success in leadership is changing your mindset. If you don’t believe in yourself and your ability to lead, no one will. You have to be the person that stands up when no one else will, you have to be the one that takes a stand when everyone else is quiet.

Shifting your mindset and realizing that you are a leader is how you tell yourself a better story. See it, believe it and live it. You are a leader and with the way our society is going, we need your strong leadership.

How can you apply this right now?

Information is great and inspiring, we read things and get fired up but none of it means anything unless you take action. How can you practically apply this post? Three ways:

Identify what stories you’ve been telling yourself

Realize you have the power to change those negative stories

Start to shift your mindset, start to tell yourself better stories

This will be a process that takes time but starting today will have you telling yourself a better story and from there, you can truly see success and lead others to success. I hope you’ve set big goals and dreams this year because telling yourself better stories will help you hit every one of them.

Question: What negative stories have you been telling yourself?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • http://theregoi.com/ floyd

    Well said, “Tell yourself a better story.” I believe for those of us that know God know that our story is better and has a happy ending. Living in fear isn’t part of our Father’s story and fear is what causes people to play it safe and not enjoy the exciting and more abundant life the Bible speaks of. It’s not about the numbers it’s about the heart and when we’re living with Him in the forefront, the numbers just take care of themselves. Very inspirational. Thank you, sir.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thank you Floyd and so true. We definitely don’t have to live in fear!

  • http://www.psycholocrazy.com/ jamie flexman

    You’re right Kimanzi, we are the authors of our story. We write the chapters and we have the ability to cut out the passages which don’t serve us. The story I used to keep telling myself was that I could do anything without putting 100% into it.. which I now know to be false. I kind of knew it to begin with, but it was something I didn’t want to admit. I coasted for too long. Thanks.

    • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

      Yes, and we can rewrite our story as well:) Ha, 100% effort can be almost impossible. Thank you for taking the time to read and add to the discussion.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      That’s such a great way to look at it Jamie and I can tell you’re living it!

  • http://www.startgainingmomentum.com/ Ludvig Sunström

    Makes me think of Stoicism. Nice post Kimanzi!

    • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

      Great example! Thank you for sharing.

      • http://www.startgainingmomentum.com/ Ludvig Sunström

        You are both quite welcome, gentlemen! :)

        Keep up the good work. It’s motivating.

        • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

          Thank you Ludvig:)

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      Thanks Ludvig!

  • http://www.struggletovictory.com/ Kari Scare

    A college professor of mine told the class that “You cannot lie to yourself.” He went on to say that what we say in our self talk becomes the truth we live by. This is why it’s so important to be aware of what we say in our inner lives. Awareness is a start, and then we need to start reprogramming in a sense by first being honest with ourselves and then by feeding positive truth into our minds. This is a continual process for sure. My process begins with telling myself that o have value to give others.

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      You’re absolutely right, awareness is the key, I’m glad you’re telling yourself a better story!

  • http://sparkvoice.wordpress.com/ DS

    Our inner-dialogue can be the biggest helpmate or biggest momentum killer. Thanks for sharing how it personally impacted you Kimanzi!

    • http://kimanziconstable.com/ kimanzi constable

      So true DS and you’re welcome!

    • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

      Yes it can.

  • http://www.lifeofasteward.com Loren Pinilis

    I believe we underestimate how powerful our beliefs are when it comes to stepping out and leading. And this applies not just to business or church but also to our families. Wise words, Kimanzi.

    • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

      I totally agree, we each have greatness inside of us. Glad you enjoyed Kimanzi’s post.

  • http://tcavey.blogspot.com/ TCAvey

    Inspiring post.
    So often we fail because we never try. We never try because we convince ourselves there is no point.
    The lies we tell ourselves or the lies we believe from others do not have to be our reality.
    God is for us!
    If God puts something in our hearts to accomplish, who are we to doubt Him?

    I have to remind myself of these things on a regular basis.

    • http://danblackonleadership.com/ Dan Black

      Great word, if God is for us who can be against us. Now one!