4 Ways to Build your Confidence

Confidence is an essential leadership characteristic. I have found having and building confidence is an inward job while the results are primarily outwardly shown. This is because confidence is defined as “belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities.” It starts with self leadership and the ability to consider ourselves winners, valuable, honorable, and worthy. To increase in success and influence requires having and building our confidence level. I have found these 4 practical ways we can build our confidence:

1. Guard your words and thoughts-

Our words and thoughts can positively or negatively impact our confidence. This is because we will become what we consistently think about. James Allen said, “Good thoughts bear good fruit, bad thoughts bear bad fruit.” Determine to speak and think about yourself and the different seasons of life in a good and optimistic way. Guard and manage your thoughts so they build your confidence.

2. Focus on giftedness and passions-

A leader’s competence and confidence significantly rises when they are working in areas of giftedness and passions. If you’re not able to work in those areas at your job, I suggest finding a different job or concentrating on those areas outside of your day job. The more we are able to work in areas of giftedness and passions the more our confidence will grow.

3. Take action-

Taking steps to move outside our comfort zone and through our fears can build confidence. After putting it off for a long time, I recently started attending Toastmasters. One of my desires and near future goals is to begin my pubic speaking career. I had not spoken to an audience in several years and giving my first speech at Toastmasters boosted my confidence level. This only happened because I moved out of my comfort zone and started to take action. Taking action can also build your confidence level.

4. Grow yourself-

I have learned personal growth and development leads to an increase of confidence. The next time your are lacking confidence consider reading a motivational book, listening to an inspiring speech, or spending time with mentors. The knowledge and insights you gain will increase both your skills and confidence.

Question: How do you build and maintain your courage?

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • Dan, in my experience the aspect that has helped me build confidence more than anything else is what you mentioned in #3 -Take Action. There is nothing like putting a little experience in your belt. After the first few time or two of trying something new my confidence multiplies.

    This certainly is very true when it comes to public speaking! Toastmasters is a great way for you to get that experience you need in a safe setting. I had to overcome my fear of public speaking when I started preaching. Then I had to overcome it again when I started preaching in a second language! I engage in public speaking in a second language at least once a week now and although I still have room for improvement I feel much more at ease and confident than I did even a year ago. That all comes with experience and just taking action even if you don’t feel completely qualified or ready for the task.

    • DS

      Preaching will definitely give you lots of practice! I can’t imagine the 2nd language part – that’s awesome! It takes baby steps. I remember my first “lesson” given in a church was 5 minutes. Since then I’ve given countless lessons. Some good, some bad. Some memorable, some forgettable. Thanks for the added perspective.

    • I totally agree, taking action is one of the best thing we can do to move past fear and build our courage. That’s great your building your skills and confidence even more by preaching in a second language. I can only imagine the challenges you faced when moving into preaching in a second language, great job for taking that step.

      Thank you for reading and sharing.

  • There are two main ways I build courage: stay in the Word, allowing the stories of others to fuel my courage, and reminding myself that fear isn’t from God, and making the decision to do the opposite of what fear tells me to do.

    • Amen! Those are important ways Jason.

  • I suppose I’ve built and maintained my courage different ways at different stages of my life. The thing I do most now is renew my mind so I’m seeing myself as God sees me. When I feel loved and cherished by Him, I have great confidence because it doesn’t matter what others think of me.

    It’s funny that you mentioned Toastmasters, Dan. I’m planning to join a local class here in a few weeks – as soon as I finish a Bible study that meets the same day. I’ve taught speech to local homeschoolers for many years and thought it would be fun to join a speech group myself. I think it’s great that you’re planning to be a public speaker.

    • Powerful and insightful first sentence. The different stages of life bring different areas we need courage in. I totally agree with seeing ourselfs through the eyes of Christ. It always boosts my confidence.

      I know your going to enjoy Toastmasters. Let me know how you like it when you start going. Thank you for reading and adding to the topic.

  • Like your take on this Dan. Courage and confidence are inter-related. I agree with Jason, staying close to God can heop us overcome all of our fears and give us the courage needed to overcome any obstacle.

    • Thanks Chris. They sure are. I totally agree with both of you guys.

  • DS

    Glad to hear you’re pushing yourself to grow beyond your comfort zone – Toastmasters will definitely do that. Great move – the more positive experiences you have, the more confidence you’ll build. I still get nervous, but I’ve had a ton of successful experiences speaking which helps me overcome my fears with it.

    Recently I listened to an interview with Skip Prichard where author Mike Connelly said, “You write what you read.” It’s also true, we believe what we hear. If we have negative self talk, and hear nothing but bad language, depressing news, and saddening music – we’ll be negatively impacted.

    I try to encourage myself throughout the day. I save positive emails from others. I listen to and read positive/encouraging materials. I purposefully look for stories about people who have overcome obstacles. I attend worship service, and try to serve with all of my life. I try to improve myself. All of these and more help me build and maintain courage.

    • Before attending Toastmasters I use to preach all the time at a church I served at. The break in between really lowered my confidence so I’m looking forward to increasing in my communication skills as I attend.

      Great statement by Mike Connelly. I’ll have to listen to the entire interview.

      Those are great ways to build your confidence. I also reflect on the past encouragements and experiences I have had. Great idea about saving positive emails you have gotten. Thank you for adding to the conversation:)

      • DS

        I used to preach full-time. Now I fill-in here and there as well as teach classes. I love getting to speak in public, but used to take
        it for-granted By the way, when you start saving the emails – you’ve got to store them in a spot with a cool name that gives you a positive vibe. Mine is called “Atta Boys”. Keep up the good work.

        • Same with me, public speaking is fun and I really enjoy it.

          That’s a good idea, I’m going to do the same thing:) Thanks man. I always enjoy reading your thoughts and insights. Thank you for allows commenting and adding to the posts. I appreciate you.

      • DS
        • Sweet, thanks for sending me the link!

  • Great list, I agree with all and try to apply all to my own life. I think it’s easy for us to slip into negativity, #1, from time to time, which then limits #2-4.

    • It can be a daily challenge to watch and guard what we say and think. I have found my morning prayer time helps start the day off well. Thank you for reading and sharing.

  • I think like you said, this is partly a discipline. Believing that we have purpose is essential and that’s where for me and most believers, God comes in. If He has determined a path for us and we’re in His will, how can the world stop us? That’s well placed confidence. We see a world of too much false confidence. Our hope which is confidence, is in Him.

    • Amen Floyd. Being in close relationship with God and moving toward our God given purpose always build confidence:) I’d rather have God confidence than self made confidence. Thank you for sharing with us.

  • I can’t stop reading over and over – Guard your words and thoughts. Jim Rohn mentions these thoughts as little cares, distractions that come into your mind and try to choke out the good that you are planning on doing. The Bible speaks about this in the Parable of the sower and reaper, how the weeds will choke out the seed.

    I build and maintain my courage by being transparent and letting others see that I am not perfect and I also make mistakes. I speak about things that keep me grounded and does not elevate me over anyone else. Humility is what I practice and it helps build my confidence to do more. Did you get the opportunity to record your toastmaster speech? That is totally awesome Dan.

    • Those are great points from Jim Rohn and the Bible. We should remember both.

      That’s a wonderful way to build courage. Humility is such an important characteristic of a leader, it leads to many good things.

      I did not get the chance this last speech but plan on recording future speeches. Thanks for the idea:)

  • I’m the kind of person that struggles with confidence so I do all of these things you’re talking about. I also dive head first into things.

    • It does not show Kimanzi. Your actions are building your confidence and moving to toward your dreams, keep at it bro! Thank you for sharing.

    • DS

      I love reading and hearing about you being a person of action – you set a great example.

  • Without trying to be overly spiritual in a post that was intended to be practical, I think I would have to say that some of my confidence comes in understanding that my identity, value, and gifts are all found in Christ. While He fully expects me to develop my gifts and abilities, I can rest assured that He has given me everything I need to be a success.

    What greater confidence is there in the world than knowing that I am loved and accepted by God through His Son, Jesus?

    • Great points Matt. I totally agree. I think those areas are essential when it comes to having and building confidence. I want the confidence God provides:) Thank you for adding to the conversation.

  • I find myself taking action to build my confidence. It’s one step in front of the other. As the actions happen and the successes line up, my courage builds.

    • That’s one of the best ways! What are you currently taking action on?

      • Currently I’ve got the eBook I’m writing. 500 words one day a week and it should be done in another month or two. There’s also the new business my friend and I are starting. All baby steps but it’s getting there.

        • DS

          Excited to hear about your projects and the continued march towards their completion.

        • That’s so cool! I can’t wait to read it and see your business develop and expand. Those are some great steps:)

          I’m taking a similar approach when writing my next eBook. I only am able to do small sections each week but over time it will be finished.

  • I think another key to confidence is taking risks. Taking those first few steps are tough but then you build momentum. Confidence gets to be like a muscle that you strengthen.

    • I couldn’t agree more. This has been a big year for me so far in taking risks…and each one has done nothing but build my confidence and snowballed unto the next thing!

    • I totally agree Loren. Great additional thoughts and insights bro! Thanks for reading and commenting.

  • Toastmasters – now that’s one place I should be at but have kept postponing. Thanks for the motivation! I identify with all the steps. I’ve discovered that knowledge increases my confidence in that subject. It’s amazing how a little insight neutralizes intimidation and fear.

    • I highly encourage you to attend one. Let me know how you like it after going(If I don’t hear from in about it in a while, I’ll check up:). So true, learning and gaining knowledge can great boost our confidence in the area. Thank you for reading and sharing.

      • Lol..I’ll keep you posted! And check up if i don’t :)

  • Building confidence is also about knowing what you don’t have a certain skill-se, or ability and you need help from someone who does.It’s OK to not know everything. You have to surround yourself with people who are good at things that you might not necessarily be good at. I use to fall into the trap thinking that I had to do everything, then when I failed I lost confidence. But now I know better.

    • I totally agree, It reminds me about the importance of having a well rounded team. A strong team builds everyone’s confidence. Thank you for adding to the discussion.

  • I’ve been thinking about passion, talents and growth. Seems I keep coming back to reflecting on the past…past challenges, successes, set back and feelings. In all this I see the hand of God and I am humbled and inspired to persevere. Your blog has helped me in this area…thank you.

    • That’s great to hear TC Avey. I’m glad we can encourage and help each other become better and move forward. Thank you for sharing.

  • Taking action is HUGE! When I sit around and over-think, I tend to talk myself out of taking action, or at least worry about all the potential issues. This isn’t to say we shouldn’t reflect. But there needs to be a cut-off time and a time to move forward. By taking action, we gain experience. Typically, experience leads to greater confidence.

    • I relate with you Chris. I have done the same thing. I have over thought about something and talked my way out of doing it instead of building confidence while pushing through the fears and doing it. When I have moved out of my comfort zone and take action it always feels good and fulfilling after. Dang resistance:) Thanks for reading and commenting.